Aging Like Milk

I love my grandmother, but she has some dark humor and has aged into that ‘no filter’ stage of her life, so it’s probably good that she doesn’t go out much anymore (she literally lives in the basement).

She wanders upstairs to the main kitchen, where I am sitting.

Grandma: “Ran out of milk downstairs.”

She opens the fridge and gets out one of the milks from the back.

Me: “Oh, I didn’t see that one back there. I think that might be expired.”

She opens the top and has a sniff. She gets a disgusted look on her face.

Grandma: “Lord have Mercy! How long has that been in there?! By now, the missing child on the carton must be old enough to have missing children of their own!”