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Advertise Despise

| Working | June 24, 2014

(I’ve bought my daughter a gift online. As it gets closer and closer to her birthday I get more and more impatient that it hasn’t turned up. The estimated delivery date has long passed, the company has told me that it has shipped, but still no parcel. One day a slip comes through the door; I’ve missed a delivery! I drive clear across town and get to the depot just before closing.)

Checking Clerk: “ID, please.”

(I hand over my license.)

Checking Clerk: “Hmm, what were you expecting?”

Me: “A parcel… A gift, actually.”

Checking Clerk: “Hmm. I think you might be out of luck.”

(She disappears into another room, and I wonder what she meant, fearing briefly that they had somehow lost my parcel.)

Checking Clerk: “Here you are. Sorry.”

(She hands me a tube. I stand there for a moment. It wasn’t what I was expecting.)

Checking Clerk: *sympathetically* “We’ve had loads of them; there’s a pile of them in the next room.”

(I left and tore off the tape. Sitting inside was a leaflet: a small leaflet put inside a much larger box. Apparently my Internet service provider thought it would be a great advertising campaign to send out a load of leaflets that don’t fit through a letter box. Needless to say I had a few strongly worded sentiments and had myself removed from their advertising system.)