Admit It: You’ve Always Kind Of Wanted To Try This

It’s 1995. I am three years old and my teenage uncle is watching me while my grandma runs to the store. My uncle puts a tape into the VCR for me to watch.

Me: *Amazed* “Where it go?”

Uncle: “It ate it! Om nom nom. I’m going into the kitchen, okay? Can you stay right here for me?”

Me: “Okay!”

My uncle makes me a peanut butter sandwich and gives it to me before making his own food. He comes back into the living room and sees me sitting in front of the TV empty-handed.

Uncle: “Where’s your sandwich?”

Me: *Proudly* “It ate it!”

Uncle: “Oh, no.”

My uncle spent two days trying to clean peanut butter out of the VCR, gave up, and had to buy another one.