Addressing Those Creepy Thoughts

(My friend and I work at the same office, so we will often talk to each other over our chat program we use. I’m looking at a new client’s information and notice that we had just had his neighbor in two hours earlier.)

Me: “Oh, hey, Mr. [Client #1]’s neighbor was here! That’s uncanny.”

Friend: “Who is the neighbor?”

Me: “Mrs. [Client #2]. She lives at [1234 Address], and he lives at [1233 Address]. I’ve never had that happen before.”

Friend: “Oh, yeah, we’ve had family members come in who didn’t know they were both clients. In fact, I once had a guy who didn’t get some paperwork. I asked him for an updated address to find out he had moved into the house right beside me. I told him it would be no problem dropping his paperwork off at his house.”

Me: “I would worry about doing something like that.”

Friend: “Why?”

Me: “Oh, you know… Midnight drop off. Asking why no one has called. Why he hasn’t heard anything.”

Me: “Followed up by staring at your window mournfully while he tries to figure out why you aren’t answering him when he thinks about you. Or why you never look him in the eyes when he’s staring through your window at you while you sleep. Or why you won’t talk to him when he’s talking to you… Well, it’s not really you. It’s a statue that’s supposed to be you. Okay, it’s not really you. It’s Ronald McDonald, but he tried to paint it to look like you. It just came out looking like Ronald McDonald. Okay, it wasn’t really a statue he painted; it was a mannequin out of a dumpster. But his heart was wholly in the makeup he smeared on its face!”

Friend: “Either you have thought way too much about this, or you’re trying to creep me out.”

Me: “Are you creeped out?”

Friend: “A little!”

Me: “Mission accomplished!”