Addressing The Shifty Drug Problem

(I’ve been attempting to find a job for some time now, and at long last got an interview at local supermarket chain. Everything goes well and I’m called back for a follow-up. I am dealing with a new person this time. We’re reviewing my application, on which they asked for my current address and all previous ones, and on which I’ve informed them of my class schedule – something they will need to work around for me to take the job.)

Interviewer: “So, you live at [incorrect address]?”

Me: “No, that was my last address. I’m currently at [correct address].”

Interviewer: *looking at me like I’m an idiot* “Mhm… You know, you don’t have to lie. If you don’t know where you live, that’s all right.”

Me: *incredulous* “Uh, I’m sorry? Your system seems to have had a slight clerical error. It’s that address right there.”

(I gesture to the correct address on the computer screen behind them. They’re unfazed.)

Interviewer: “Uh-huh. So you don’t know where you live. Let’s move on.”

Me: “Okay, hold on. I have it on my state ID.”

(I pull it out and show them the address. They don’t look at it.)

Me: “See? It’s [correct address].”

Interviewer: *not paying me any attention* “Yeah. So can you work [shift I made quite clear that I cannot work on every day I said I was unavailable]?”

Me: “No, I put it on my application that I have classes from [early in the morning until an hour after they wanted me to start] on those days. Could we try a shift on [days I can work]?”

Interviewer: “I think that’ll be all for now. I think you’ll do fine, and we can discuss shifts later. For now, I want you back here in a week for a drug test.”

Me: “Er, all right…?”

(I leave and go out to my grandmother in the car.)

Grandma: “So how’d it go?”

Me: “They wanted me to work [unworkable shift] and then told me because their system got my address wrong, that I didn’t know where I lived.”

Grandma: “They what!? How could you not know where you live?”

Me: “I know, right? I mean, where do they think I came from to get here?”

(Needless to say, I didn’t show up for the drug test, nor did I take the job!)