Adding Some Humanity To Google

(I’m working at the reference desk at the library when the phone rings.)

Woman: “Can you look up [Town thirty miles away] and tell me what it says?”

Me: “Okay… and what information are you looking for ‘it’ to tell you?”

Woman: “Just, like, where it is and what [Town] people are like. What does Google say?”

Me: “You want to know what the people are like? I’m not sure that’s the kind of thing Google can tell me.”

Woman: “Well, there’s a Camaro for sale there, and I just want to know if the people in [Town] are trustworthy, or if it’s a backwater with trashy people.”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s the kind of thing Google can tell me.”

Woman: “So, you’re not going to help me?”

Me: “I can tell you the population of [Town] and where’s it’s located… but that’s about all I can help you with regarding the backwateriness of that town.”

(I ended up telling her the populations of several towns around the state at her request, apparently at random, before she was satisfied enough to hang up on me.)