Actually, That’s Pretty Much How Politics Works

| Related | January 23, 2014

(I am eight years old and just starting to learn about the succession of power in the country should the leader die. I am spacing out while doing my homework when my mom comes in my room to check on my progress.)

Mom: “[My Name], how’s your homework going?”

Me: “It’s going fine, but I have a question.”

Mom: “What’s the question, dear?”

Me: “Well… if the President dies, the Vice President takes over right? And then if they die the Secretary of State takes over? Who takes over if everyone in that long line dies?”

Mom: “I think at the very end of the line is the head of the US postal service; they’d be president.”

Me: “Okay, so if I murder someone, is there a way I can skew it so [Uncle] takes over? I mean, he is a mailman.”

(Just then my dad walks in. He and my uncle don’t exactly see eye to eye.)

Dad: “No! Whatever you do, do not put your uncle in charge of the country. I beg you!”

Mom: *to dad* “Um… I’m not even sure if a postal employee can be put in charge of the country. Also, shouldn’t you be telling [My Name] that murdering people is bad regardless of who she’s trying to get put in charge?”

Dad: “Oh… right.”

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