Actually, Food Is The Food Of Love

(I have been on a couple of dates with a guy, and we spend a lot of time hanging out, but he hasn’t officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We are getting food at a fast food place and I’m ordering.)

Me: “I’ll just have [meal].”

Employee: “It’ll be [price].”

Him: “I’ve got this; I’ll pay.”

Me: “No. I can pay for myself!”

Him: *shocked* “What? Why?”

Me: “I am perfectly capable of paying for myself. Besides you aren’t my boyfriend, because we aren’t officially dating.”

Him: “What? What do you mean we aren’t dating?”

(The employee is standing there super awkwardly.)

Me: “You never actually asked me to be your girlfriend, so I get to pay for my own food.”

Him: *frustrated* “Fine! Will you be my girlfriend?”

Me: “Yes.”

Him: “Good! Now I’m paying for your food!”

(The super-confused employee takes the card, and doesn’t say anything for the rest of the transaction.)