Actually Feel More Sorry For That Stairwell

(I am a sixteen-year-old, part-time, front desk attendant. Tonight is particularly busy, but my coworker and I manage to check everyone in promptly and without issue. We are organizing some things that hadn’t gotten filed properly in the rush when a woman emerges from the elevator, which is about twenty feet in front of the desk.)

Guest: *walks out of the elevator haughtily, and proceeded to pitch her belongings at the front desk*

Me: *trying to ignore that she almost hit me and my coworker with her luggage* “Good evening. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Guest: “I demand you switch my room! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “All right, I’ll get right on it. However, may I ask why your current room is unacceptable?”

Guest:“Why in the h*** would you need to know? Just switch my room!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I need to know in case the room is in need of repair so I can take it off market for the night.”

Guest: *huffs and literally raises her purse above her head and slams it onto the counter* “Just switch my room and give me a discount already! I should get this room for free because of the issues you’re causing me.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t authorize any discounts without a reason.”

Guest: “You put me beside the f****** stairwell!”

Coworker: *looks at me confused*

Me: “Um, I’m sorry but you didn’t ask to be roomed away from the stairwell, Miss [Guest]. I would have gladly changed it had you asked at check in.”

Guest: “Well, you should have f****** known where the h*** I wanted put, you dumb c***!”

(My coworker, who is the shift manager, nods at me to go ahead and get rid of her however I can, even if that means kicking her out.)

Me: “That is not proper language to be using at me, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using anymore foul language. I will gladly change your room; however, you will still need to pay full price.”

Guest: *slams hands on counter in front of me, and leans over into my face* “I am so sick of dealing with dumb c**** like you! You will give me a new room, for free, and full access to the mini-bar for free as well!”

(At this point I’ve reached my breaking point.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you will not be getting anything for free or discounted. Had you came down in a calmly manner, and politely asked to switch rooms I may have offered a discount. However you attitude makes it very clear that you do not deserve one.”

Guest: *looks over at my coworker* “What the h***?! You should have known to room me somewhere else! Are you just going to sit there and let this woman talk to me like this? Are you the manager?”

Coworker: *walks from her desk to stand by me* “Miss [Guest], I am the acting manager at the moment, and I have to agree with my employee. Your attitude has been less than appropriate. At this point I request you go back to your room quietly or accept the one she is offering you.”

Guest: *grumbles before accepting, cursing at me the whole time under her breath*

Me: “Your new room is 536. Have a pleasant evening.”

Guest: “What floor is this on?”

Me: “It’s on the fifth floor, in the second tower.”

(Our hotel has two towers, with a conference hall in the middle to connect the two. To go from tower to tower, you must go to the first floor and walk the hallway connecting them.)

Guest: “Well, f****** great! Now I’m definitely gonna get kidnapped! I didn’t want to be by the stairwell in the first place because of all the riff-raff coming through at all hours of night!”

Me: “I assure you that the stairwells are locked at 11 pm and not opened again until 6 am or unless someone calls down to use them.”

Guest: “I’ll keep my old room, but I want you to sit by the stairwell door all night and make sure no one comes through it. I also want the room half price, and full access to the mini-bar for free.”

Coworker: “As I told you before, we do not have mini-bars and I am not discounting your room. We are not mind readers, and in no way could have known you preferred to be away from the stairwell.”

Guest: *throws hands up in the air* “Well what kind of hotel doesn’t have a f******g mini-bar?”

Me: “The kind with an actual bar on the premises.”

Guest: “Well, fine, then. I want free drinks on the house during my entire stay!”

Me: “We can’t do that for you, Miss [Guest].”

Guest: “Then you can pay for my drinks, little miss snot!”

(At this point my coworker can tell I’m struggling to handle the situation.)

Me: “I’m underage and thus cannot buy you a drink, even if I desired to.”

Guest: *smirks* “Oh, so you’re probably a knocked up tramp working because Mommy and Daddy kicked you out for being such a slut! Tell me, how many guys could be the father?”

Me: “I’ll have you know, I am working to pay for night classes so that I can graduate with an associates degree. I strive to be more refined in this world, unlike some people.”

Guest: *puffs up and face turns red* “How dare you! Did you just hear what she said to me? I demand you fire her!”

Coworker: “That’s a long list of demands you’ve made. Despite us being a five-star hotel, I cannot meet any of these demands. I suggest you either take the new room, or go back to your current room.”

Guest: “I’ll take the f****** new room! I want someone to carry my belongings over to the room for me. I also want a free dinner from the restaurant here.”

Me: “I can get our security guard to carry your belongings, but as I stated before I cannot and will not give you anything for free or discount.”

Guest: “You are the biggest c*** I’ve ever met! I hope you flunk out of high school and your house burns down!”

(She then stomps off to gather her belongings. We call in our security guard and tell him the situation. He agrees to escort her… to her car)

Guest: *starts yelling when the guard asks where her car is located* “I am not leaving this f****** hotel! I paid to stay here and I’m not leaving! I want a free dinner, drinks, and room! You’d better f****** guard that f***** stairwell!”

Me: *happily* “We’ve already refunded your card, and added you to our not-welcome list. Have a nice evening!”

(We hear her screaming all the way out to her car, and then watch as she drives away angrily, almost hitting several cars.)

Guard: “I already alerted the state boys of a speeding woman driving recklessly. Have a nice night, you two!”

Coworker: *high-fives me*