Acting Very Cross(Dressing)

(I have been clothes shopping with my wife. This is the fourth shop we have been in and I am truly fed up. While she is trying something on [again], I find a seat, and begin to play with my phone. A woman in her late 40s dressed as a teenager approaches me.)

Employee: *barking an order* “You can’t sit there.”

(I almost don’t look up as I am not paying attention.)

Me: “Huh, sorry?”

Employee: “You. Can’t. Sit. There.”

(I look around to see if there are any signs, I see nothing.)

Me: “Why?”

Employee: *with attitude* “Because this is a changing area, obviously!”

(The area I am sat in is not enclosed or private in any way. This woman obviously works here and has a problem with me, so I decide to have a little fun.)

Me: “So, what if I wanted to try something on?”

Employee: “What?”

Me: “I don’t see any ‘women only’ signs. What if I wanted to try something on?”

Employee: “Well, that isn’t going to happen…”

Me: “Are you telling me what I can and can’t wear?”

Employee: “What! No, I…” *she gives me a look like a deer in the headlights*

Me: “So, you are telling me that you personally don’t allow men in your store and you don’t support the trans community?”

(She starts to look around. I realise she didn’t see my wife go in to the changing room. For all she knew there could have been a guy in there changing as we spoke. People are starting to stare at her.)

Employee: *turning white* “I, er, I….” *leaves sharply*

Wife: “You are so embarrassing. I can’t take you anywhere!”