Acting Like Paris In The Hilton

(My boyfriend and I are on a big, romantic European vacation. It’s our first morning in Paris, and we want to get up early. The alarm has just gone off.)

Boyfriend: “Ugh…. Baby, get up and take the first shower.”

Me: “No! I always take the first shower, and let you sleep an extra 15 minutes. It’s not fair. You get up first.”

Boyfriend: “You’re wasting time! Get up!”

Me: “At least give me 30 seconds to wake up!”

Boyfriend: “NO!” *starts pushing me off the bed*

Me: “What are you doing!?”

Boyfriend: “Get. Up.” *fully pushes me off the bed*

Me: “Why would you do that? You’re so mean!”

Boyfriend: “Oh, my God! It’s like dealing with a two year old.”

Me: *sitting on the floor* “I really, really hate you right now.”

Boyfriend: “Stop being such a child.”

(I angrily shower and come back to the bedroom to find him sound asleep.)

Me: “Babe, your turn.”

Boyfriend: “Noooooooo.”

Me: “Who’s the child!?”

(We both end up giggling.)