Acting Like A Complete Jerky

(I work with a rather attractive 20-something woman. She is okay, but gets away with murder and often gets tea or coffee brought for her as she is the only attractive woman in the office.)

Coworker: *to me* “Wow! What’s that?”

Me: “Oh this? It’s jerky. Really good stuff.”

(The attractive coworker’s head pops up.)

Coworker: “Let’s see.”

(I throw the closed packet over.)

Coworker: *as he throws it back* “Hmm, looks really good.”

(The attractive coworker hasn’t stopped listening.)

Me: “Yeah, bit pricy but tastes great. Texture is soft really good.”

Attractive Coworker: “Are you going to share it out, then?”

Me: *a bit put back* “Well, I wasn’t opening it yet. Maybe …later?”

(I forget about it for a few days. The next week I open it up and leave it out of sight on my desk. I leave the office and come back to see the attractive coworker quickly walking back to her desk.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I’ve opened up the jerky. Want a piece?”

(I can just see out of the corner of my eye the attractive coworker, stuffing something in her mouth.)

Me: “It’s bit spicy, though.”

(I hold the bag out to the attractive coworker, who waves me away as she is struggling to chew ‘something’.)

Me: “…and it only gets hotter as you chew.”

(At this point the attractive coworker’s eyes are watering at she almost dives for the bin, spitting out the jerky she stole before running out the door.)

Coworker: “Serves her right, silly cow. She is always trying to get something for free even if she doesn’t like it.”

(Now, every time I bring something in, I’m always quick to mention that it is a bit spicy. I haven’t caught her taking anything since.)