Acting Gingerly On The Zombie Apocalypse

(This happens after dinner, my boyfriend having been the cook. I absolutely hate spicy food and it is important to mention that i have long hair which i dye red and have been doing so for the past ten years, at least.)

Boyfriend: “Normally I’d have added some chili, but I didn’t want you to die on that, so I left it out. Because you being dead would be very bad.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice of you. But you never know, I might have returned as a zombie!”

Boyfriend: “Ummm…”

(I decide to pop the question.)

Me: “Well, if I returned as a zombie, would you kill me?”

Boyfriend: “Hmm. Probably I would, yeah. This way it wouldn’t be a random stranger killing you. But maybe they’d find a cure, so I could have you back in normal…”

Me: “Yeah, you could keep me in a box somewhere, feed me some brains every now and then, and wait for a cure!”

Boyfriend: “That’s just slightly creepy… But, well, I think your salvation would be more important to me!”

Me: “One thing about that. I’m a redhead. I don’t have a soul.”

Boyfriend: “But you dye it; it’s not even real! So you do have one.”

Me: “Yeah, but I’ve been doing so for the past ten years. I’m pretty sure my soul has already fled my body.”

Boyfriend: “No, I’m sure that deep inside you still have a hidden soul. So I’d still kill you!”