Acrimonious Acronyms

(A customer pulls out his credit card to pay for his purchase. We cashiers have to push a button on the computer before the card reader will work.)

Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

Customer: “Credit.”

Me: “Okay, wait for the green light then slide your card through the machine.”

Customer: *slides card before the green light comes on then stares at the machine* “It didn’t work.”

Me: “That’s okay. Just slide your card again now that the green light is on.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. You did say to wait for the green light. I have an acronym for that. FTFD!”

Me: “FTFD?”

Customer: “Follow the f****** directions!”