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Accentuating The Problem

| Working | November 14, 2016

(I recently got a job working at a hardware store. I thoroughly enjoy my new job, and all my coworkers are funny, hardworking and an absolute delight to work with. However, I’m slightly gullible, and try my best to please both customers and my coworkers as I am the youngest and the only female not in a management position, as well as the only one at our store, period. I soon learn that whenever a fellow coworker calls from either home or a sister store, it is nearly a RULE for the caller to prank whoever answers. One day I am mixing paint when the phone rings. It reads as a cellphone number, and I quickly pick it up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Hello? You have reached [Store]. Can I help you this evening?”

Caller: *thick Indian accent* “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, sir! You’ve reached [Store]. Can I help you with anything?”

Caller: “Yes. You do key lock?”

Me: “I’m sorry? We re-key locks if that is what you mean, sir.”

Caller: “Good. Good. How many?”

Me: *starting to recognize a very familiar undertone and inflection pattern and getting suspicious* “As many as you need, sir.”

Caller: “You re-key lock, yes? Then you re-key mine. Fifty! You re-key fifty?”

Me: “Of course, sir. However, I have a question for you, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Caller: “Ask!”

Me: “Does your name happen to be [Coworker who is off that day]?”

Caller: *laugh, drops the accent* “Hey, [My Name]! How long did you know?”

Me: “You need to figure out a Scottish accent or something other than the same one you use to order us pizza, dude. Or at least learn how to drop the Southern twang when you speak. So whatchya need, mate?”

(It ended up that he was calling to change one of his choices for the weekly football pool we set up. He DID learn how to fake several different accents after that, and it kept us all on our toes.)

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