Absolut Intransi-Gince

| Working | April 18, 2013

Me: “Excuse me; I was looking for [brand] gin, but I didn’t see any on the shelf.  Do you know if you have any more in the back, or am I not looking in the right section?”

Employee: “You don’t want that.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Gin is gross. It tastes like floor cleaner. You don’t want that.”

Me: “Actually, I am rather fond of that brand of gin. And, I need gin to take to a party where we are making gin martinis.”

Employee: “Buy vodka; it’s better.”

Me: “No, thank you. I don’t want vodka. I want gin  Now, are you all out of [brand]?”

Employee: “H*** if I know. Gin is nasty!”

Me: “Umm…okay. I’m sorry you don’t care for it, but could you still check to see if you have any more of that brand in the back?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Employee: “That’s what I said. No. I won’t check. Gin is nasty. Trust me, dude, I’m saving you from yourself. You don’t want gin.”

Me: “Is there someone else I can speak to? Is there a manager, perhaps?”

Employee: “Yes, there is, but I won’t get him.”

Me: “Why not?”

Employee: “Dude, you don’t get it. Gin sucks. It’s nasty. It tastes like a floor cleaner. I gotta protect the reputation of this store, so I can’t let you buy s****y alcohol!”

Me: “Never mind. I’ll get a different brand.”

(I wander back over to the section where the gin is stocked and pick out a different brand to purchase. I return to the counter and set the bottle down. The employee picks it up, sees what it is, and puts it under his counter.)

Employee: “For God’s sake, dude! I already told you, you don’t want gin! Get vodka, won’t you?”

Me: “Okay, listen: you don’t like gin, I understand. But, I happen to like it. Please, can I just purchase that bottle and be on my way?”

Employee: “Nope, not gonna happen.”

Me: “Okay, then get your manager. Please.”

Employee: “Fine, have it your way!”

(The employee calls the manager from the back.  The manager, an older gentleman, comes out of the backroom and approaches me.)

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

Me: “Yes, there is. I just want to buy a bottle of gin, but your employee won’t let me.”

Manager: “Why would you want to buy that? Gin sucks!”

(I walked out. Luckily, I found another liquor store a few blocks away that had my preferred brand of gin.)

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