About To Make Mom Go Postal

, , , , | Related | May 29, 2020

I’m at my friend’s house having lunch with her on her birthday. Her son has just started college in a town a few hours away, and she’s upset he hasn’t sent her a card but figures he’s been too busy with settling in and has just forgotten. While we’re eating, she gets a video call from him.

Son: “Hey, I’ve sent you a birthday card, but I had my college ID on the table when I wrote it and I can’t find it. I think I might have put it in the envelope with the card. Can you open it and check?”

Friend: “Oh! I thought you’d forgotten. I haven’t got your card yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

Son: “Oh, no, it must have got lost! I don’t know how I can get another ID; they said we’d have to pay a fine if we lost it.”

Friend: “It might just be running late. When did you post it?”

Son: “This morning. You should have it; the post always gets there before lunch. How do I call the post office to check?”

Friend: *Pause* “[Son], you do realise that if you posted it this morning, I won’t get it until at least tomorrow?”

Son: “What do you mean?”

Friend: “How do you think the post system works?”

Son: “You put on the stamp and put it in the box, and they deliver it. I’m not stupid! I know how it works! It should be there!”

Friend: “Oh, for God’s sake. You put it in the box, the postman collects it, and then they have to get it across the country overnight so our postman can deliver it the next day! It’s not instant! What did you think, it was like email?”

Son: *Pause* “No?”

Yes, he really did think that if you drop post into a postbox, it would magically zip across the miles, ready to be delivered the same day.

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