About To Make A Huge Mis-Steak

(I am working the closing shift alone in the meat department, which means rushing between cleaning and sanitizing the back and filling and arranging the displays in the customer area for the morning. While bringing out meat to fill the cases, I see two young foreign women — who I take to be students from the local college — puzzling over the steaks.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Student #1: *in broken English* “Yes, we’re wondering why these—” *pointing to the top display* “—are so much more expensive than these—” *pointing to the lower display*

(I explain the difference between the more expensive “grilling” steaks that you can just slap on the BBQ — sirloin, T-bone, etc. — and the less expensive “marinating” steaks like the round cuts that, well, need to be marinated to make them more tender. I give them advice on how to do this, suggest slow cooking as an option, and basically offer them all the help I can, realizing they are students on a tight budget and with no obvious culinary skills. After about ten minutes, they seem to get it, and I hurry off to continue stocking. As I’m returning to grab more meat from the back, they stop me.)

Student #2: *with a quite bewildered expression* “About these outside round steaks… Do you have to cook them outside?”

Me: *sighing* “It’s not necessary, but we do recommend it.”