About To Go All Old-Testament On You

, , , , , | Friendly | September 11, 2019

(My coworker and I are the only ones working. My coworker is flamboyantly gay. There are two customers in the store: a female in her 30s and a male who seems to be in his early 20s.)

Coworker: *upbeat* “Hi. What can I get for you today?”

Female Customer: “Absolutely nothing! I refuse to speak to a [slur]! Get me someone else!”

Coworker: *upset* “Okay…”

Female Customer: “Yeah, go cry! You deserve it for being an unholy [slur]!”

(Suddenly, the male customer jumps in.)

Male Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but I’d like to shake your hand for being such a good Christian.”

Female Customer: *looking proud of herself* “Certainly!”

Male Customer: “Oh, wait a second… Are you on your period?”

Female Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT?!”

Male Customer: “Well, the Bible says contact with a woman on her period is forbidden, so I’m just making sure to be a good Christian.”

Female Customer: *turns red and runs out of the store*

Male Customer: *laughing* “God bless, b****!”

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