About To Get Some Baggage

(My brother and I, as siblings tend to, are at each-other’s throats a lot. It should also be noted that he is very sweet to girls — except for me. When we were preteens, my family went shopping, and we were at the check-out getting ready to leave. Now, the bagger was a short woman who had the same hair color as me, and similar glasses. I was bored so I took my mother’s phone and went to go play on it while waiting at the doors.)

Brother: *not paying attention, and says to Bagger* “You know you’re doing it wrong, right? The soda is supposed to go on the bottom.”

Bagger: *puts soda on bottom*

Brother: “You gotta put the bread in the baby seat, idiot.”

Bagger: *puts bread in baby seat*

Brother: “OH, MY GOD! Can’t you do anything right? You should be locked up, you’re so stupid!”

Bagger: *looks up, trying to see if there’s anything else to bag*

Brother: *goes pale* “Wait, you’re not [My Name]!”

Mother: *realizes what’s going on, and starts laughing at my brother*

Brother: “OH, MY GOD! I’m so sorry! I thought you were my sister!”

Me: *still playing game by the door*

(After that my brother refused to go shopping with us, and every time the rest of us went, we would ask him if he wanted to go see his “girlfriend at the store.”)