About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 8

(I’m the manager in this story. A coworker has answered the phone and has referred the call to me as it is a complaint.)

Caller: “I hope you can do something; that other girl was useless!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear. How can I help?”

Caller: “I bought a coffee and when I got home, I found a button battery in the bottom of the cup! I demand free coffees for life! I could have been killed! Imagine if a child had drunk the coffee; they’d be dead! You’re lucky I don’t sue!”

Me: *confused, as there are no batteries in our store, let alone one that could have slipped into her coffee* “A button battery in your coffee? Can you tell me how you found the battery?”

Caller: “I purchased a coffee from your store, took it home, and reheated it, and when I drank it, there was a button battery in the bottom. I could have died! All I’m asking is free coffee forever; it’s not too much to ask considering I could have been killed!”

Me: “Sorry… How did you reheat your coffee?”

Caller: “Why does that matter? I used the microwave. I COULD HAVE DIED AND YOU’RE NOT WORRIED AT ALL!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. There’s no possible way the battery was in your cup when you bought it.”

Caller: “Are you calling me a liar? I’m going to have you fired! I could have died!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am calling you a liar.”

Caller: “I AM GOING TO CALL HEAD OFFICE AND HAVE YOU FIRED!”

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Coworker: “How are you so sure she’s lying?”

Me: “If she’d put a battery in the microwave, it would have exploded. There’s no way she drank a coffee and found a battery at the bottom!”

(I called head office myself to let them know to expect a crazy woman trying to scam free coffee.)

Related:
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 7
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 6
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 5