About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2

(I work in an electronics store that sells power adapters as replacements for broken ones. The customer has a complaint, because the replacement plug doesn’t go in all the way. It sticks out about two millimeters.)

Customer: “What’ll I do if my grandson sticks his finger on it?”

Me: “Well, sir, first of all, I would hope you’d keep something like this out of his reach. Second, the space is far too small for his finger to touch it. Third, the plug only has three volts of electricity coming out. It won’t hurt you.”

Customer: “Prove it!”

(I proceed to plug in the adapter, and hold the tip of it between my fingers.)

Me: “See? No shock.”

Customer: “I still don’t believe you!”

Me: “Okay, sir. Here.”

(I hand the customer a nine-volt battery.)

Me: “Take this, and put your finger on top of those two bumps.”

Customer: “Fine! What’s the point of this?”

Me: “Well, right now, you’re touching a nine-volt battery on both poles. You have more voltage flowing through you, coming out of that battery, than I do touching this plug.”

(The customer thinks for a minute, as though trying to comprehend what I just said. His fingers are still in place on the battery. Suddenly, he shouts out in pain and throws the battery across the
room.)

Customer: *shouting* “How dare you! You just tried to kill me! I’m going to sue!”

(My manager, who has been watching from the back room via security camera the entire time, comes out.)

Manager: “Sir, if you really think you have a case, go ahead. You’ll be up against witnesses, security cameras with full audio, and basic elementary school science. There is no way a nine-volt battery can hurt you.”

(The customer leaves, looking forlorn and downtrodden.)

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