About To Get Biblical Over This, Part 2

It’s Sunday during the peak “after church” rush at the diner. The after-church crowd is… predictable. High-maintenance, low-tip. Demanding refills before they even order, sending back food that’s exactly what they asked for, treating us like their own personal apostles of breakfast.

I get sat with a table of three older regulars, all decked out in their Sunday best: two women and a man, mid-70s. From the moment they sit down, it’s all “Bless your heart, sweetie,” and “The Lord sure did test my patience waiting on that parking spot!”

They take forever to order, change their minds twice, and call me over four times during the meal. They eat like kings, run me ragged, and leave their plates spotless. 

As they’re getting ready to go, the woman paying the bill makes a little show of patting her purse.

Customer: “Now, sugar, I just wish I could leave you a little something extra, but all I’ve got today is the Lord’s love.”

She places a folded tract, a religious pamphlet, on top of the check.

Customer: “But I do want to leave you with a word from Scripture. Matthew 6:19, ‘Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth…'”

The other two nod approvingly. The man even adds:

Other Customer: “You’ll be blessed in other ways, sweetie.”

I smile, sweet as syrup.

Me: “Well, I sure hope so, ma’am. Because Luke 10:7 says, ‘The laborer is worthy of their wages.'”

They blink. Silence.

The man coughs. One of the women grabs her purse and they stand up and shuffle out, very sheepish and awkward.

I toss the pamphlet in the bin behind the counter, right on top of the last five that have been piled there by other customers to other servers.

Bless their hearts. And bless me too. I still had four more tables to flip.

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About To Get Biblical Over This