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About To Blow His Muffin Top

, | Right | February 24, 2017

(I work at a well-known fast food breakfast chain. An elderly male customer orders a blueberry muffin.)

Me: “And would you like it toasted?”

Elderly Guy: “Yes, I would, but please don’t put it in the oven. It makes it too hot. Just put it in that toaster.”

(We have large oven-like toaster machines and we also have conveyor belt toasters that are only big enough for bagels. The man points at the conveyor belt toaster.)

Me: “Uh, we can’t fit the muffin in there, sir. That one’s just for bagels.”

Elderly Guy: “But that’s how I want it.”

Me: “Okay, but it doesn’t fit, see? The muffin’s too tall.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, just do the best you can.”

(The elderly guy is angry now and I’m done arguing.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot put that muffin in that toaster. The muffin will touch the top of the toaster and it will catch on fire.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, I’ll have it COLD, THEN! Are you HAPPY NOW?!”

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