About To Be Disappointed

My job is contacting people who have been referred to my employer’s internal case management program. Medical providers are supposed to inform patients of their referrals but a few are notoriously bad at doing so. This phone call was something special.

The patient answers the phone and says hello.

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’m calling from [Clinic], trying to reach [Patient].”

Patient: “Yeah, that’s me.”

Me: “Excellent. I’m calling because you have a referral to [Clinic]’s case management for [Patient’s unique need]; does this sound correct and familiar to you?”

Patient: “Who told you that? Who are you?”

I repeat the information while confirming in the patient’s chart that they are neither hard of hearing/deaf nor experiencing a brain issue like dementia; they are neither.

Patient: “Oh, right. I told my doctor I was having a hard time with [issue].”

Me: “Yes, [Patient], that’s why I’m calling! I’m happy to schedule you with one of our case managers, and afterward, I’ll do a quick screening with you.”

Patient: “Can you schedule me with a case manager?”

Me: “Uh, yes, sir! Would you prefer an appointment over the phone or at one of our clinic locations?”

Patient: “I’m not available on [date].”

Me: “Very good. We won’t schedule you on [date]. Would you prefer an appointment over the phone or at one of our clinic locations?”

Patient: “I need the appointment to be in the morning, but not too early. I can’t get going as fast as I used to be able to.” 

Me: “Of cour—”

Patient: “Actually, can you make that appointment over the phone?”

Me: *Internal sigh* “Yes, I can.” *Enters the data* “Give me one moment to enter some information into the system, and I can offer you some dates and times.”

Patient: “I can’t be scheduled on [same date as before].”

Me: “Of course, sir, I got you. Are you available on [entirely different date] in the morning?”

Patient: “Can it be in the morning?”

Me: *Chewing on my face* “Yes, of course! How about [time]?”

Patient: “Hmmm, nah, that’s too early. Do you have anything on [date they said they weren’t available]?”

Me: “Uh, yes, we have a [later morning time], but you said you aren’t able to schedule on that day?”

Patient: “No, I didn’t. That time will be fine.”

Me: *Shrugging* “All right, I’ve made you that appointment with [Case Manager] on [date and time]. If you need to cancel or reschedule, please call [Clinic]; I can give you that number if you like.”

Patient: “No, I got it.” *Click*

A couple of weeks later, I got a notification in my work queue that the patient no-showed their appointment. There were notes in the patient’s chart saying that they were upset at having an appointment made on a day they didn’t want to have an appointment. Sigh.