Abject-Oriented Programming
(Note: I am the only programmer in an office full of graphic designers. A few of my colleagues understand programming, but my boss REALLY doesn’t. He often gives me ridiculous deadlines, but for once I am given a whole 3 weeks to make a complex program.)
Boss: “[My name], the presentation has moved to this friday lunchtime.”
Me: “What?! I wont even have a prototype available this week!”
Boss: “You will or you’ll be out of a job. Jeez, how hard can it be? You’re just typing!”
Me: “I’m… what?”
Boss: “You’re just typing! Everyone else around here has to do crazy graphic stuff… now that looks complex. You just need a copy of Office and you’re set.”
Me: “You can’t use Office for pro—”
(At this point, one of my colleagues interrupts.)
Coworker: *to my boss* “Are you being serious? You only told him about the program this morning!”
Boss: “And he should be able to do it in a week!”
Coworker: “Look, I know a little bit of programming, not enough to build it or anything, but it takes ages to make stuff like that! Give him a break, eh?”
Boss: “You’re just nerds! Nerds and geeks! All nerds stick together… oh yeah, sure!”
Me: “I… what?”
Boss: “You’re just trying to make me look bad! Have that d*** program ready for me within a week!”
Me: “Actually, I have a month of holiday left, and according to my contract I have to use it all if I leave. I’m handing in my 30 days notice. I wont be coming in tomorrow!”
Boss: *gets mad and leaves the room*
(I did indeed hand in my notice, and went in the following week for a goodbye party, which my boss conveniently forgot to attend. However, they now outsource all their programming to me anyway, and I work from home and charge twice as much!)
Question of the Week
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