A Yearning For Ears That Are Burning

(A recent article regarding our business and the habits of its customers was published in the papers. My fellow employees are discussing some of points that were brought up in passing. They leave the area. A customer comes storming up to me.)

Customer: “Those workers were saying some very offensive things! I want to report them. Who do I talk to?”

Me: “Well, if you just–”

Customer: “They say I just come here to get free stuff! I don’t do that! I ‘actually’ buy stuff here! I want to report them!”

Me: “Well, if you’d like to report them, then you’ll need to go up front and speak with a manager. I’d like to point out though, that they were only talking about an article that was published.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, the news just released an article that talked about our store and some of the stuff people do. That’s what you heard them talking about.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought they were talking about me!”