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A Workplace Discovery

Working | September 12, 2016

(I work for a police department. This occurs entirely over the radio.)

Dispatch: “[Officer #1], loose animal at [Address]. Resident is stating there is a lizard in her closet.”

(Long silence.)

Officer #1: “Is it poisonous?”

Officer #2: “There are no poisonous lizards in North America.”

Officer #3: “According to the Discovery channel, the gila monster is native to North America, and is identifiable by its black and orange markings.”

Officer #1: “Thanks, Discovery Channel.”

Officer #4: “If it’s a chameleon, you’re gonna have a hard time finding it.”

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