A Wand-ering Conversation

(After a series of long nights with no sleep I go to wake up my BF, who as a last resort has crashed in the living room.)

Me: “Honey, it’s time to get up.”

Boyfriend: “Okay… I can’t; there’s no wands.”

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “There’s no wands!”

Me: “No what?!”

Boyfriend: “There’s NO F****** WANDS!”

Me: “Wands? What wands?”

Boyfriend: “F****** WANDS FOR F****** WITCHCRAFT AND S***!”

(At that point I just walk out. 30 minutes later I came back in and find him still asleep.)

Me: “Honey, you need to wake up. We have to leave in 45 minutes.”

Boyfriend: *sitting bolt upright* “WHY THE H*** DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME EARLIER?!”

Me: “I did and you told me you couldn’t get out of bed because there were no wands!”

Boyfriend: “WHAT F****** wands?”

Me: “That’s what I asked.”

(Apparently he had opened his eyes, sat up, and had a conversation with me in his sleep.)