A Virus On Your Marriage

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2018

(I work for a large electronics store that also does tech support. An older gentleman comes up to the support counter with a new high-end laptop.)

Me: “Thanks for coming in to [Company]. I’m [My Name]. How can I help you out today?”

Customer: “I bought this laptop here last week and there’s something wrong with it.”

Me: “Okay, let’s just take a look here.”

(I power on the laptop and find that it is clearly infected with a virus that keeps pulling up p*rnographic content.)

Me: “Looks like you have a pretty nasty virus infection going on. We can get that cleared up for [price].”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! It came like that!”

Me: “Sir, I guarantee you that it did not.”

Customer: “Yes, it did, but it doesn’t matter. I bought the warranty, so you have to fix it for free, anyway.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the warranty does not cover viruses. It only covers if it physically breaks, like if the screen cracks, or something.”

(The customer then picks up the laptop and spikes it to the ground like a football.)

Customer: “There. Now it’s physically broken. Take the d*** thing!”

Me: “The warranty also does not cover intentional damage.”

Customer: *as he is being escorted out by security* “You ruined my marriage! I’m going to get divorced because of you!”

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