A Very Fibrous Blouse

(I’m toasting some granola that I made last week, to give it some more crunch. I went to a wedding last night.)

Mom: “What did you wear to the wedding last night?”

Me: *shows Mom my outfit*

Mom: “Oh, that’s a nice blouse.” *sniffs* “What are you eating down here?”

Me: “Some granola.”

Mom: “Oh. Where did you get it?”

Me: “I made it.”

Mom: “You made it?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Mom: “How did you make it?”

Me: “I took some oatmeal and nuts and—”

Mom: “YOU MADE THAT SHIRT OUT OF OATMEAL?”

Me: “What? No. I thought you were talking about the granola. I bought this shirt a few years ago. How would I make a shirt out of oatmeal?”