A Very Fibrous Blouse
(I’m toasting some granola that I made last week, to give it some more crunch. I went to a wedding last night.)
Mom: “What did you wear to the wedding last night?”
Me: *shows Mom my outfit*
Mom: “Oh, that’s a nice blouse.” *sniffs* “What are you eating down here?”
Me: “Some granola.”
Mom: “Oh. Where did you get it?”
Me: “I made it.”
Mom: “You made it?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Mom: “How did you make it?”
Me: “I took some oatmeal and nuts and—”
Mom: “YOU MADE THAT SHIRT OUT OF OATMEAL?”
Me: “What? No. I thought you were talking about the granola. I bought this shirt a few years ago. How would I make a shirt out of oatmeal?”