A Very Different Kind Of X-Files

I’m a new radiographer, being given a tour of the hospital’s imaging and radiography department.

Resident Radiographer: “This is the archive room. We keep records for all patients for the last five years here. Once a year, they get taken down to long-term archives.”

He shows me all the folders and records, sorted by patient name and imaging method.

Me: “This shelf is all x-rays, and there’s no patient name.”

Resident Radiographer: “Oh, that’s The Book. It doesn’t contain any patient data.”

Me: “Then… what is it?”

Resident Radiographer: “Every time we have to do an X-ray on someone who claims they fell, and an object just happened to insert itself so far up their rectum that they needed to go to the hospital, the X-ray ends up in there.”

Me: “Oh… my… God.”

Resident Radiographer: “It’s sorted by the name of the object. That folder is ‘L’ and is mostly light bulbs.”

Me: “I don’t want to know.”

Resident Radiographer: “Give it a few weeks… working here, you won’t have a choice.”

Sadly, he was right. Inside my first month, I was adding my own page to The Book, and had to ask if I filed it under ‘F’ for Funko Pop or did I file it under the name of the specific character.