A Typo To Be Positive About

(My girlfriend and I are chatting online due to being long distance. We are talking about STDs before our relationship gets physical.)

Girlfriend: “I’ve never been tested for anything, but the only other person I’ve been with has no STDs.”

Me: “I haven’t been tested in years, so my bill of health is clean but outdated. I should probably get tested again. My last boyfriend did cheat on me, after all. I do have oral herpes, but I expect you do, too.”

Girlfriend: “Oh, yes, of course. So many people do.”

(The conversation drifts to another topic, and while typing I notice a strange rash that might be hives.)

Me: “Ugh, I just noticed this weird rash. I think it’s hivs.”

(Pause for her to read that and for me to realize my typo.)

Me: “HIVES. I think I ate something I have a mild allergy to.”

Girlfriend: “That was a scary typo for a minute.”