A Thicker Stack Of Bills For A Thicker Kind Of Person

(From the time we arrive until we leave at night we are required to have a manager in the store, which means that employees often have to do our running. We have had a bunch of large bills come through that I need broken, so I try to send a new employee to get change.)

Me: “Hey, I need you to run to the bank at the far end of the store and get 100 dollars in singles, and another hundred in fives and tens.”

(I hand him an envelope with two one-hundred dollar bills.)

Employee: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s two hundred dollars. They’ll give you your change in a bank bag.”

Employee: “No, but, this is two hundred dollars.”

Me: “Yeah, do you need me to write down what money I need?”

Employee: “You need two hundred dollars.”

Me: “Right. Half in ones, the other half in five- and ten-dollar bills.”

Employee: “But this is two hundred dollars already?”

Me: “I need you to get me smaller bills.”

Employee: “I can get that, but then why do I need two hundred dollars?”

Me: “You are trading them.”

Employee: “For what?”

Me: *long pause* “You know what? Let me write down exactly what I need, and you just hand everything to the teller and bring me back what they give you, okay?”

(I wrote down my phone number in case there was confusion, but thankfully the tellers figured out what my employee couldn’t, and I got my change!)