A Testing Set Of Circumstances

| CT, USA | Learning | June 5, 2017

We have an impossible physics teacher. Everyone hates him, but he always specifically targets me. He always give us Scantron tests, which I always fail. This one, however, is the worst, with questions terribly phrased.

When I point this out to him and ask what to do, he simply tells me to “figure it out.”

There is even one question that asks about the velocity of a bicycle, and all the answers are about a rock rolling down a hill. The test is a total disaster, and he refuses to do anything about it.

At the end of the class, one of my classmates asks if he can keep a copy of the test to help him study for the final, and the teacher says no. So, he ends up stealing a copy, and during lunch most of the class get together and mark everything that is wrong with the test to give to the vice principal.

She was beside herself that the test was like that, and forced the teacher to give us all an extra 50 points on the test. It was the only one I passed all year.

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  • Jackie Fauxe

    I am very disappointed that this story wasn’t about a teacher who taught impossible physics.

    • Souless night

      Okay then, how do you find the velocity of a bicycle, given a rock rolling down a hill?

      • Elsi Dodge

        I believe it would depend on whether the rock was being thrown at the cyclist.

      • Meranath

        well assuming it’s a chicken in a vacuum and shaped roughly like a sphere…

      • Jackie Fauxe

        The bicycle has zero velocity as it’s on the top of the hill, lying in the grass, and waiting for you to finish rolling rocks.

        • Kraziekat

          What day of the week is it.

          • wawster 5

            Sunday, since he is free to roll rocks down a hill

      • Pogla

        Assume the bicycle is a sphere, and the surface is frictionless…

        • Trihan

          Where I come from we call spherical bicycles “space hoppers”.

  • Donnell Hanog

    He knew he was in the wrong. You should have brought it home and showed it to the most caring of your (collective) parents so they could bring it to the district’s attention.

    • Abigail Hermione Irwin

      Good point. The test should’ve definitely been brought to the district’s attention. Sounds to me as if the teacher hates kids and teaching and this is how he deals with it.

  • No Days Off

    I would’ve thought test creation would be a course they taught when that teacher went to college. I actually took a course like that…but then again, my major was psychology.

    • Benny

      Rigor in teaching colleges varies widely depending on the college and the state. I lucked out – my state has some of the strictest requirements for teachers (therefore my degree and certification are good in something like 35 states). We got plenty of classes that required us to create tests and the type of test had to be geared towards the learning objective of what was being taught – scantrons, essays, practicums, projects, performances, demonstrations, etc (scantrons are really only good for testing rote memorization – the lowest level of the Bloom’s Taxonomy).

      • librarygryffon

        Sadly I can tell you that at least 15 years ago when I took some teaching classes (looking into a school media cert since I have an MLS) there was nothing on how to design a test, at least at the elementary level.

        It was a very pointless program and I’m sure they haven’t done anything to improve it since then.

        • Benny

          As I said, it depends on the school and the state. I got both my education MSs in the past decade and most of my classes covered this.

      • Bethany Lieflijk

        …Strictest requirements, but good in only 35 states? I know that’s over 4 times the states in Australia, but still…

        What’s education like in the states you aren’t qualified to teach in?

        • Benny

          I’d have to take a few extra courses in things that their state requires – local history, state education laws, etc. It depends on the state.

  • Torbjörn Axelsson

    I am surprise the teacher was not put on probition, where their tests have to be reviewed.

  • Passenger_Zero

    Chaotic good!

  • My professor for Calculus would hand-write his tests on legal pad paper and give us photocopies as our test. “Professor, in #5, are we dividing by 5x or 8x?” “That is a six.” “6x?” “That is a six.” Followed by eraser scratching and the internal screaming of about thirty people.

  • Yohannes Setiadji

    Must be a teacher with superiority complex, who’d love to have his students failed just to point out that he’s smart while his students are dumb, therefore he can feel better about himself.

    • BaseDeltaZero

      If you can’t explain what you know in such a way that others can understand it, you are not only a bad teacher but also probably not as smart as you think you are.

  • Cathrope

    What is the velocity of my hand hitting you in the face teacher, given the rotation of the nearest proton around a dog’s ass.

  • Blake Barrett

    Any questions about the velocity of an unladen swallow?

  • allahboleh

    Thank goodness for teacher’s unions, your teacher might have gotten fired! Did you think of that OP, before pulling your little “grade the teacher” stunt?

    • Dsru Bin

      I really hope you’re making a joke…

      • allahboleh

        Well, yeah. It’s basically:

        “Want to hear a joke?”
        “What?”
        “Teacher’s unions”

        • Dsru Bin

          Sadly, not in NYC – the Teacher’s Union practically runs the gov’t. They weren’t a joke in WI either, until Governor Walker put them down.

  • Dsru Bin

    I don’t see any evidence here of the teacher targeting the OP. It’s not his fault that you fail the Scantron test – I can’t think of any testing method that is LESS subject to bias against an individual than a Scantron. Unless you think he keeps two test keys – one for everyone else and one for you?

    Maybe if you studied with some of your classmates, you’d learn the material and pass some tests.