A Sweet Slippery Request

(I’m second in line waiting on a fresh batch of kettle corn, which has just finished. We’ve all been watching the preparation process, from start to finish and no one’s said anything.)

Worker: *to customer in front of me* “New batch is ready! Now, what would you like?”

Customer: “A small, no sugar, no oil.”

(The worker is taken aback and looking from the customer to the kettle of oil and huge mass of popped corn, leaving an awkward moment of silence.)

Worker: “Unfortunately, that’s not going to be possible.”