A Suggestion Saga

A customer walks up to the customer service desk with a sheet of paper.

Customer: “I have a list of changes I want you to make around here. I shall read them out to you, and you will write them down so I can ensure you’ve understood every one.”

Me: “Uh, if you like, you can email Corporate, and they—”

Customer: “No, you will be talking to Corporate. You will tell them what I want, and I expect every instruction to be followed.”

Me: “Ma’am, I work here on the weekends because I’m still in High School. I don’t have authority on when I can take my lunch, so I’m not going to be very effective in talking to Corporate.”

Customer: “I know that! I’m not an idiot! Obviously, you’ll pass these on to your manager, and they’ll be the one to talk to your corporate office. Now, change one, I expect the male and female restroom positions to be swapped. It takes too long to get to mine from the entrance, and that’s sexist. Two…”

She made me write down all eighteen changes she was expecting to be “done over the weekend”. I should have stopped her, but I was morbidly curious as to how each item on the list was more unhinged than the next.

My manager did type up the list, but not to send to corporate, but instead to print out and hand out among the staff for comedy value.