A Story Worthy Of Print

, , , , , , | Working | February 22, 2019

My mom got a printer, and after only a few months of light use, it died. She called in and got a replacement under the two-year warranty. A few months later, the replacement died, and she got a new one. Rinse and repeat every few months for the entirety of the warranty, with her growing more and more frustrated with each new machine. Finally, her fifth replacement stopped working after only three months, immediately after she put $50 of ink cartridges in it, and she called in to troubleshoot and see if it could be fixed. It couldn’t. They informed her that since she was out of warranty she would not get another free replacement, and there was nothing they could do about the money she’d wasted on the now-useless brand-specific ink, but they would offer her a 15% discount on her next printer purchase. She declined the coupon, as she didn’t intend to buy another printer from that company ever again.

My tiny, gentle, mild-mannered, and usually extremely calm mother then carried the printer outside, threw it down the balcony steps, picked up an axe, and hacked it to pieces. She said it felt fantastic, and the best part was when she forgot there was still paper inside, so it started spewing paper everywhere on the way down the stairs.

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