A Standard Sample Of The Customer Base

I work at a membership-based wholesale grocery store that often has samples of featured products being offered.

I’m walking up to a coworker who is giving out samples of a chocolate brownie pack we’re promoting. I’m about to relieve her, but I hold back a moment while she talks to a customer in a stern tone:

Coworker: “Sir, I was able to suspend disbelief for a moment when you came back for a second sample as your identically-dressed twin, but now you’ve been a triplet, and worn multiple hats that I know you’ve just grabbed from the clothing section. In fact, I can still see the price label dangling off the cap you’re wearing right now. It stopped being a sample about five samples ago. You either need to buy the brownies to enjoy more, or stop coming here.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know I really like ’em unless I really sample ’em!”

Coworker: “Sir, I’ve never said anything with more certainty than I’m saying right now, but you really like ’em.”

The customer grumbles but walks away. I then step up to my coworker.

Me: “Someone I should be on the lookout for?”

Coworker: “He’s had, like, nine of the brownies. He even tried to be triplets called Terry, Tim, and Tommy. I don’t think he was thinking it through as his brain is probably half brownie at this point.”

We both laugh, and I take over the sample station. Literally less than five minutes later, the same customer sees that there is a new worker at this station, smiles, walks over, and I swear he licks his lips.

Customer: “Oh, what you got here? Are these brownies?”

Me: “Yes, but they’re not for anyone named Terry, Tim, or Tommy.”

He walks away forlorn.