A Stalk To Remember
I’m working produce, stocking celery, when a customer walks up.
Customer: “I need a stalk of celery.”
Convenient timing. I hand her a stalk I just trimmed and rubber-banded.
Customer: “No, a stalk.”
Okay. I hand her a celery heart, the pre-packed trimmed stalk bundle.
Customer: “No! I said a stalk!”
At this point, I’m confused. I snap off a single stick from the stalk and hand it to her.
Me: “Here, you can even have it for free.”
Customer: “Why aren’t you giving me what I’m asking for!?”
I’ve had enough. I line up every possible celery format on my cart: loose stalks, hearts, bulk, trimmed.
Me: “Everything we sell is right here. Decide what you want.”
I walk off. A while later, she marches past me, waving a long green vegetable in the air.
Customer: “See!? Celery!”
Me: “That’s a leek, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I call them celery stalks!”
Me: “Ma’am, they’re completely separate plants from celery.”
Customer: “Well, I call them celery stalks.”
Me: “And what do you call actual celery?”
Customer: “Celery sticks! Why is this so confusing for you?”
