A Small Sample Of Big Stupid

(In the local mall there is a kiosk that only opens during the holidays which sells products such as smoked meats, cheeses, and the like. I always stop by there to get a few things when they open and am a customer while this is happening.)

Customer: “Could I get another one of these? This one is open.”

(She hands the employee a bottle of honey mustard that is marked ‘sample.’)

Employee #1: “Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s the sample bottle. The unopened ones are right down there on the other side of the counter.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks!”

(She grabs an unopened bottle and starts to walk off with it.)

Employee #1: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that.”

Customer: “But it’s a sample.”

Employee #1: “No, it’s not. You have to pay for it.”

Customer: “But that one’s marked sample.” *she points to the sample bottle* “Samples are free.”

Employee #1: “Yes, that one is. That’s the bottle we use to get samples out of. We have it marked so we don’t accidentally try to sell it to a customer.”

Customer: “But she’s getting one!”

(She points to me and the bottle of honey mustard that I have in my hand.)

Employee #1: “She is, ma’am, and she’s paying for it.”

Customer: “Paying?”

Employee #1: “Yes. With money.”

Customer: “So I have to pay with money to get this? It isn’t free?”

Employee #1: “No. It isn’t free.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want it then, but thank you.”

(She sets the bottle of mustard down on the counter and walks away without further issue.)

Me: “What just happened here?”

Employee #2: “Oh, did the crazy sample lady come back? I’ve worked this kiosk for three years now and she does this every year. You’d think she’d have figured out that that’s not how samples work by now.”

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