A Perfect Storm(trooper)

(I am a substitute teacher and have been assigned to look after a group of trainee stormtroopers for a lesson.)

Me: “Okay, class, today you’re going to be doing target practise.”

Student: “Uh, buts that’s what we did last time!”

Me: “Yes… well. You ARE training to be stormtroopers.”

Student: “Whatever.”

(The class lines up to their targets, take aim, and then fire. Amazingly, not one of them hits their non-moving and non-threatening target.)

Me: “What happened? Is there something wrong with your helmets?”

Student: “Other than the fact that we can’t see a thing in them?”

Me: “What?! Is that the case for all of you?”

(All the students nod vaguely, and only then do I realise that none of them seem to be fully aware of their surroundings. I bet I could sneak right past one and they wouldn’t be able to see me.)

Me: “Wow, I had no idea. What CAN you see?”

Student: “Not much, really. Just a lot of darkness.”

Me: “Didn’t you tell your teacher?”

Student: “Yeah but he just told us to embrace the dark side.”

Me: “Well, that’s not very helpful.”

Student: “I know. But hey, at least we have full body armor. It’s not like any silly rebel is gonna be able to one-shot kill us or anything…”