A Slice Of Self-Deluded Ignorance

(I work at a grocery store deli. While I’m helping a customer, we get a phone call and my coworker answers it. As I’m working, I notice my coworker has to repeat herself several times. When I’m done with my customer, she gives me a pleading look. She covers the microphone and whispers.)

Coworker: “We don’t have any pancetta here, right?”

Me: “To slice? No, we only have the cubed, prepackaged kind.”

Coworker: “Can you talk to this customer? I can’t hear her very well.”

(I take the phone.)

Me: “Hello, deli department. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell any pancetta?”

Me: “We do not have any pancetta behind the counter. We only have it available in prepackaged chunks.”

Customer: “Can you slice it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s prepackaged and we cannot slice it.”

(The customer hangs up, saying something about coming in. A few hours later, an older woman comes up to the deli counter asking about pancetta. I ask my coworker to take the next customer so I can lead this customer down to it. I take her down to the pancetta. It’s a small, six-ounce container with nearly minced cubes.)

Customer: “No, I called earlier and you guys said you had pancetta blocks you could slice.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this is all we have. And I was on the phone with you earlier and I believe I described them as prepackaged chunks.”

Customer: “Well, I need slices for a recipe.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but again, this is all we have. I have no control over what we get. As far as our stock goes, my hands are tied.”

Customer: *grumbles* “You need to get your people on the same page. Someone said you could slice it. Maybe [Different Store] has it.”

Me: “I can neither confirm nor deny, as I’ve rarely been in that store.”

(The customer walked away in a huff. People just don’t listen.)