A Slave To The Script

| Oceanside, NY, USA | Working | December 3, 2013

(I’m a member of a local community center. While I’ve generally been happy with the services they provide, I can’t help but notice that the place seems to be somewhat mismanaged. They often seem to waste money on unnecessary things like extra staff who don’t really do anything, while at the same time they fail to address critical things like building maintenance. I’m on the community center’s website and I notice that they now offer the option to chat with an agent. I’m a bit skeptical. I decide to give it a try.)

Agent: “Hello. Thanks for contacting [Community Center]. How may I help you?”

Me: “What is this chat for?”

Agent: “[Community Center] operates programs for new mothers/new babies, day care, nursery school, after school activities, summer camps, teen programs, adult activities, special needs programs, holiday events, and cultural activities for all.”

Me: “I’m well aware of that. I asked about the purpose of this chat feature.”

Agent: “To felicitate the customers on the website.”

Me: “You’re going to felicitate me? For what? I’m pretty sure you used the wrong word there. Might want to look it up.”

Agent: “I’m sorry. I’m an internet representative for the company and only have access to general information.”

(At this point I feel bad for messing with the guy. I decide to ask a legitimate question and see if he can actually offer some useful information.)

Me: “Tell me about your nursery school programs.”

Agent: “These extensive and varied programs are reflective of [Community Center]’s compelling mission to create a dynamic, caring community that helps families, youth, the elderly, and the disabled at all economic levels.”

Me: “Are you for real? How do nursery school programs help the elderly?”

Agent: “Thank you for contacting [Community Center]. Goodbye.”

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