A Shout Out To All The Non-Employees

(I work at an office supply store that wears red shirts. After work, I go to a grocery store where employees wear black shirts. As I’m heading toward the deli section…)

Deli Worker: *pointing directly at me* “He’ll show you where they are.”

Customer: “Sir, where are your onions?”

Me: “Uh, I’m really sorry, but I don’t actually work here. I have no idea why that employee pointed to me.”

(The customer walks away.)

Grocery Store Manager: *walking up to me* “Uh, excuse me? That is not acceptable behavior! Come with me right this instant!“

(I try to tell her that I don’t work here, but she won’t let me finish. She keeps demanding that I shut up and follow her into the office. At this point, I’m feeling mischievous, and I slowly start to grin. I decide to play along, just to see how long it takes, and follow her.)

Grocery Store Manager: *pointing to a chair* “Sit down!”

(I’ve now got a GIANT smile on my face, and I sit down. She begins to berate me and tell me she’s had issues with me ever since hiring me, and that she’s received many complaints.)

Grocery Store Manager: “So, in your words, what should I tell the district manager about how you will change your attitude?”

Me: “I’m not going to change anything about my attitude.”

Grocery Store Manager: “Well, then, I have no choice but to write you up for insubordination!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I’m still smiling the biggest smile I can. She still hasn’t picked up on the fact that I’m not one of her employees, even though I’m not in a uniform that her store uses, and my actual store name is clearly visible.)

Grocery Store Manager: “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Me: “Actually, I do. I have a question.”

Grocery Store Manager: “Go ahead.”

Me: “Do you recognize me… at all?“

Grocery Store Manager: “You’re the new guy.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Grocery Store Manager: “Why?!”

Me: “Because I work at [Office Store], you idiot. Read my shirt!”

(She finally did. I watched her arrogant expression transform to disbelief, then to a kind of horror as she realized that she’d just dragged a customer into the back and spent a good chunk of time yelling at them. I laughed and told her to get her glasses checked, got up, and left the store. I still shop at that store, but I have never seen her there ever again.)