A Shocking Request

| WI, USA | Right | May 21, 2016

(I work at a call center for a cell phone company. A customer has called in to see what her options are as her son’s phone was stolen by someone at his school. She is also at the police station while the call is going on. A supervisor happens to be listening to my call as well. By this point , I’ve explained her options and am working on putting a hold on the line so no calls, texts, or data can be used.)

Caller: “Can you tell me who has his phone? I want to make sure they are punished.”

Me: “I’m afraid we have no way of tracking the phone. At best we could see what tower it was connected to last but that covers a broad area. I see it’s an iPhone; I could give you the information for the “Find my iPhone App” which should help in the future. You already in contact with your local police, which is also good.”

Caller: “Just get into the camera!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “You know, just get into the camera on his phone and take pictures of the boys who stole his phone and send them to me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid there is no way to do that.”

Caller: “Okay, fine. Just shock them, then.”

(At this point I look over at my supervisor, who looks just as confused as I do.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “You don’t have to shock them hard; just make the phone shock them a little.”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way for me to shock someone.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you make the phone squirt blue paint on them so we can find them?”

(I’m trying to keep it together, which isn’t helped by the fact my supervisor is laughing quietly next to me. I regain my composure.)

Me: “I’m sorry but that technology doesn’t currently exist. I have given you all the options we have available at the present time. Your son’s line has a hold put on it so it can’t be used in anyway which would impact your bill. Please let us know if you recover his phone.”

(Somehow I managed to end the call before I burst out laughing. My supervisor didn’t even care I took myself out of the queue for a few minutes. Neither of us could quite believe the customer was dead serious the entire time.)

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