A Sexual-Orientation Nazi

(My group of friends is known for being “strange” at my school. We have a sub that is letting us do whatever. At this time we are talking about relationships. I am bisexual.)

Friend #1: “Hey, [My Name], would you date Hitler if he was alive?”

Me: “No. I hate guys with mustaches, plus my granny is Jewish.”

Friend #2: “That’s fair, and plus you don’t agree with his ideology.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s a good point.”

(At this point I notice a peer has been listening and is about to speak.)

Peer: “Why would he ask you if you would date Hitler? I thought you were dating [my ex-girlfriend]?”

Me: “No, we broke up.”

Peer: “Wait, you’re a f**?”

Me: “No, I’m bisexual. I like dudes and girls, but primarily dudes.”

Peer: “That’s not how it works. You’re either a f**, or a Christian.”

Me: “I think I would know what I like more than you do, plus you even met my ex-boyfriend and my ex-girlfriend.”

Peer: *mutters* “You’re still going to Hell.”

Me: “Trust me, I’m already there.”

This story is part of the bisexual-themed roundup!

Read the next bisexual-themed roundup story!

Read the bisexual-themed roundup!