A Scratchy Slice Of Married Life

I am working in the kitchen utensils department, and a couple approaches me.

Wife: “Hi, I’m looking for a good fish slice. I only used mine to scoop pizza, but for some reason, it keeps getting scratched.

(Editor’s note: a “fish slice” is a spatula, usually metal, with slots in it.)

Me: “We have some good-quality ranges here, ma’am.”

I show the couple the range, and the husband’s eyes go wide.

Husband: “That’s what a fish slice is?! I thought it was something else!”

Wife: “No, it’s always been… Wait, have you been using it?”

Husband: “Well… I thought it was for something else.”

Wife: “What have you been using it for?”

Husband: “I’ve… been using it to scrape the limescale from the bathroom.”

Wife: “But… we have limescale remover… and… and this thing is in our kitchen! What would make you think it’s a bloody limescale remover?!”

Husband: “The limescale remover is in the kitchen, too!”

Wife: “Oh, so you know we have a dedicated limescale remover, but you still used the bloody fish slice to scrape at it? That wouldn’t even bloody work!”

Husband: “Don’t shout at me because you don’t keep the kitchen organised!”

This was going to go on for a while, so I slowly walked away. At least we solved the mystery of why her fish slice kept getting scratched!