A Scam Not Even Fit For The Dogs

(Every now and then, we get scammers or thieves trying to return stolen merchandise at my store for cash. However, one scammer tried a different approach.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [Pet Store]; how can I help you?”

Scammer: “Yeah, uh, I bought a bag of dog food last week, but it was bad, so I threw it out. I talked to a manager last week, and he said he could give me a refund. Let’s see… I can’t remember his name…”

(I recognize the bait immediately; he is waiting for me to list the names of the managers to help him “remember.”)

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Scammer: “Uh, no, I don’t. I’m trying to think of that manager…”

Me: “We can still look up your transaction. Do you remember the date that you bought it?”

Scammer: “Uh, I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you have a [Pet Store] account?”

(About 95% of our customers have an account because it gives them the sale prices.)

Scammer: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “Do you remember what food you bought?”

Scammer: “No, I threw it out.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, sir, there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

Scammer: “What? But I talked to a manager!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but if you don’t have a receipt, you don’t have an account, you can’t remember the date you purchased your food, you can’t remember the food you bought, and you don’t have the food with you anymore, then I have no way of proving that you purchased it.”

Scammer: “But why would your manager say I could get a refund if I couldn’t?”

(I realize at this point that he doesn’t realize that I AM a manager, and none of my coworkers have ever mentioned a customer needing a refund for food he threw out.)

Me: “I don’t know, sir. You’ll have to ask him. Every manager here follows the same policy: you need proof of purchase to make a return.”

Scammer: “Well, then, uh, I guess I’ll have to complain to corporate!”

Me: “You are free to do that, sir, or you could come into the store tomorrow to see if you can find that manager you spoke to last week, and we’ll see what we can do for you.”

Scammer: “Yeah, I’ll do that! How many managers will be there? What are their names?”

Me: *still not falling for it* “We have several managers here, sir.”

Scammer: “Well, uh, I’ll be in tomorrow!”

(He never showed up, and we never got a corporate complaint. I’m still flabbergasted that he thought we would give him money when he not only had no food to “return,” but he couldn’t even invent what type of dog food it was!)