A Roundup Of 16 More Strange Stories About Customer Conspiracy Theorists!
Dear readers,
Unfortunately for society (but fortunately for those looking for funny stories), our first roundup on this subject wasn’t enough. There is such an abundance of customers out there who believe giving out their zip code means the government is putting 5G into their cereal, that we had to round up sixteen more stories about conspiracy theory nuts!
From paranoid preppers to those believing barcode scanners give you cancer, we’ve got them all! Please enjoy… and report any aberrant behavior to your nearest Not Always Right help center!
Conspiracy Weary – Hits from the comments: “The bag wouldn’t matter anyway… the lizard people can see though them.” Credit: 2ScoopSnoop
The Da Vinci Code 3: Running Out Of Conspiracies – We find it very interesting that this customer is so concerned with half a cent…
Hope For The Best, Prepare For The 50 Megaton Blast – A heat source without power? Valid concern. That other thing? It’ll kinda make your head explode.
Beware The Nines Of Merch – This store has 99 problems.
Big Brother Strikes Again – Okay, fine, there was Project MKUltra… we’ll give them that one.
And This Is Before He Had A Pint – Whatever they’re drinking is one heckuva drug!
It’s One Big Greasy Conspiracy – If you keep digging you always ending up with ‘Illuminati’.
My Biggest And Loudest Fan – Yes… it is possible for these people to try and do some GOOD once in a while!
Deranged Decades – This person is in a psychiatry office but not for the reason you think…
Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 3 – Hits from the comments: “Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic…” Credit: Don’t Feed The Trolls
One Annoyed Paranoid – If you’re worried about identity theft, it’s called CASH!
Atone For Sins, Make Peace With Maker, Close Phone Account – For retail workers every time those store doors open it’s Armageddon.
Psst… The Sun Gives You Cancer, Too – Plot twist: they were buying cigarettes.
Dr. Jekyll And Mrs. Hyde – Hits from the comments: “Not only does this customer have several screws loose, but the screws were from the wrong box.” Credit: nordic
The Fairweather Fan – Just punch in 90210 and move on.
Just Wait ‘Till He Meets The Dwarves In The Urinals – When they think there are people living in the walls you know it’s about to get interesting!
We hope you enjoyed this roundup about customer conspiracy theorists! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!
Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:
10 Strange Stories About Customer Conspiracy Theorists
22 Times Religious Customers Went Biblical In The Store
